10:41 a.m. || 2005-10-16
lessons learnt and on we go
So I went back to my old school on Friday (I had forgotten my laptop charger at the end of last term) and had been putting off collecting it for as long as possible. I just didn't want to see what they would do to the classroom I had worked so hard on (which was apparently 'sub-standard' and 'no headteacher would put up with displays of the quality I had produced')
It tore me to pieces to hear that said and so in light of the upcoming OFSTED inspection at the school (enough to put even the most competent/confident teacher in an asylum) I expected my room to be torn to pieces.
Instead....it looked like I had never left. My 'inefficient' monitoring systems were still in place, my 'sub-standard, intolerable' display work was still up. My sensory tent, listening tent and reading areawere untouched along with the entire classrrom layout (with the exception of moving a few bits and bobs for new carpet to be put down and a new smart board on the wall). And all of this left by the lady who told me I was useless. She has taken over my class and continued to use everytrhing I put in place. I heard her talking to a lady who had come to the school, a Gifted and Talented coordinator, and she was ponting out how lovely the room was and I actually heard, for the first time the teacher say, "yes its lovely, it was LISAS idea". Everytjing that she pointed out as good was all MY work. I hate that this admisssion and praise has come way to late to affect my job, however, it is still in time to add to the restoration of my self belief and just to add to the confirmations that I have had already about the whole situation not being my fault. The teacher actually admitted to me (again appreciated but TOO LATE) that even with all her ears of experience, my job was very hard!
Most people seemed pleased to see me, the head hardly spoke...she seeemed 'odd'. Can't put my finger on it. She was polite, butt cold. I was told that she is just starting to realise how hard I worked and how difficult whatI did was. I'm a little worried as to what kind of references she is giving me though.
I have a real peace about the whole situation now. Theres nothing I can do to change what happened, but I've learned some very tough lessons and I plan to use them in future! I don't hurt anymore. I don't feel like a failure! I didn't let my children down!
Enogh of the teacher talk and the making peace....its done now!
*HUGS* TOTAL! give Leesmry more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own