9:48 a.m. || 2005-12-12
no job, london, kevin and a hat
yeah...so no job for me. In the end they said they wanted someone more experienced. My question: Why did you interview someone you knew was an NQT?
I cried...a lot. I've never let myself believe I was good enough for a job before incase this happened...I never will again. I feel useless.
It was a shit week. No work..apart from doing Cover Supervisor work in a SECONDARY SCHOOL...I hated it. It was for half pay and I have never been so scared. I left at lunch time. My earnings for last week were a grand total of £30.
I'm so scared now. I know this is where i had to have faith but come on...I rang all of my agencies this morning and they said they have nothing. BUT THEN...to add insult to injury...one of the agencies rang back and said they had some teaching assistant work in a special school, again for half pay and even slightly less because it was after 9.00am but I said I'd do it...I was so relieved even if it wasnt teaching, at least it was work...THEY BLOODY CALLED BACK TWO MINUTES LATER AND SAID THE SCHOOL HAVE CANCELLED. Why? I just cried!
On a brighter note though. I had a lovely weekend with my girls in London. It was so nice to see Ali and feel like she has never been away. I've never liked London before...it seems better now that she is there. Maybe London is pleased to have an Ali. Camden Market was the best. Moo and I could have (did) play for hours with all of the pretty/sparkly/cute and unusual things. We loved it. MMMM and food was delicious. It was so cold but in a nice way. I felt all snuggled, especially when I bought a hat. MMMm hat! Trouble is, I have an unusually small head and was pretty much engulfed by most...in the end I got one that half fits and just put up with only being able to see half of the world. My hat is white so if I look up...it just looks like it has snowed...I like that.
Ali will be home soon and things will be great again. I honestly didn't want to come home. I just wanted to move Kevin down.
Awwww my lovely, lovely Kevin. He is so nice. I got home and he had tidied and cleaned the entire flat. It looked so nice. He had tried so hard. It made me feel so happy. The fact that he hates doing that stuff but had done it to make me feel nice made me feel very special. I had the biggest warmest safest cuddles ever then curled up on the sofa and had lots of lovely strokes (I realise 'strokes' may imply rudness, but they were just nice ones like on my hand and on my head and face)and a massage. I love Kevin to pieces. I can't wait to marry him. I want to make him happy forever. I love him.
I know things will get better soon...and people have been through much worse. It WILL be all Okay...I'm just a terrible worrier...about everything.
xxxxxx
*HUGS* TOTAL! give Leesmry more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own