9:15 a.m. || 2006-03-16
a nice evening
I had a lovely evening last night.
I was so worried all week as my sister has been quite poorly and my mam has been working lates and there hasn't been anyone to put Auntie Nora to bed so they asked me to go over and do it.
I really don't mind, it's just that I've only done it once before and that was when she could walk and take herself to the toilet. Now she is fully reliant on everyone for EVERYTHING. She has very particular routines and ways of handling things and I'm not familiar with any of them. I was so scared incase I did it in the wrong way and ended up hurting her or letting her fall down stairs or not putting her to bed right. My mam and sister have always done it because they live in the street and it's a 30 minute drive for me so it always made sense that they would do it.
I'm also always terrified of walking in and finding that she isn't with us any more. That would be the worst. But anyway. I did it and it was the best thing I have done for ages. It was so nice just to be able to do something to help her out after everything she has done for me in the past. She was so happy to see me that she cried when I hugged her and was holding my hands really tight.
I didn't even mind when she had a bit of a toilet incident and I had to clean her up. I just felt for her. It must be so hard to know that this is happening to you and to know that after being on your own for so long, you're even dependent on someone else wiping your own bum, holding you when you walk, providing your food, cleaning andf bathing you. She is actually very brave.
She looked so peaceful when I tucked her up. We had a little chat about the things we used to do together when I was little and it made me happy to think that I was lucky enough to have someone like my Auntie Nora in my life. I wouldn't be half the person I am without her. I just wanted to cuddle her and let her know how much I absolutley love her.
I'm going back to put her to bed tonight and I've asked my sister if from now on I can do it every tuesday. I'll get to see her and she'll get to be happy to see me. She grinned from ear to ear when I said I was impressed with how hard she was trying still to do a little bit for herself. Just like when you praise a child, she tried to go that little bit further to impress me and walk a few steps wiothout her zimmer. I had to hold her up but she did it. It made me happy.
I love Auntie Nora
*HUGS* TOTAL! give Leesmry more *HUGS*
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